Monday, January 31, 2005

Rudy Guliani and "The Million Dollar Baby"

Rudy Giuliani and Million Dollar baby?

(I am still working on this but here is a begginning)

I was employed as personal attendant for a troubled severe Cerebral Palsy man. I pushed his wheel chair all over southern NH for a year. He had two degrees –one in music and the other in history. I fed him most of the time –he had much difficulty in feeding himself. I was with him; I think three of four times when some small incident (to me) set him off to a temper tantrum. We called the police and rescue, where the police would subdue him –place him on a stretcher –he’s go to the hospital, talk to the Psychiatrist, get some pills and then go home. I was amazed that they would do this over and over again. I knew he was on the cusp of getting arrested.

What I will never forget in talking to all the town officials - what did they thought of the John in their minds. You know, I was trying to get the historic record. He had caused a lot of trouble in the town. I remember talking to one policemen –he told me a story of finding him in the night after a snowstorm (the sidewalks weren’t shoveled), a mile or so from his apartment –where he was wheeling in the middle of the road and no coat on. The cop said it was extremely cold outside. The cop passionately said John was a hazard to the cars and to an extreme hazard himself with the cold. The cop said it was very dangerous with nobody talking care of him. I didn’t catch the meaning with the term “extreme hazard to himself” –what the community was prepared to do in defense of the person.

So what I got from all of the people around John is he was very troubled –his problems happened over and over again without solution-and it was an extremely tragic situation for the town and John. They said he was going downhill fast in the last year. He live in the middle of a small town because there was flat side walks –so he could get around and visit the local college, restaurant, and stores on his own. I understood that Tom “though” he had a sort of girl friend where she dumped him –and this led to a severe depression. This is where I learned that minor issues facing us –ends up being a life or death situation for the disabled.

Keene NH had facing a downtown crisis many years ago. Many buildings became empty as the companies had left the area for economic reasons. Somebody had a good idea –where they though they would make apartments in these abandoned buildings. I won’t go into the politics of real-estate and making money, gaining local, state and federal bond monies –to bail out the people who owned the buildings –and the false altruism inherent in this.

So we ended up with a bunch of disabled and low income apartment ringing the center of this beautiful downtown –with a lot of so called malcontents milling around the downtown businesses. I became a low income project and section eight housing inspector for about 6 months –well until they figured out what I was up to. What I can say is the low income projects was totally mismanaged and in disgraceful conditions, we were in a severe housing shortage crisis, the section 8 housing was totally politicized and was littered with startling substandard section eight housing –and the landowners running around with amazing political power about the whole process. I imagine a lot of money was being made.

In the background of this there was rumors of a huge big box store building boom just around the corner –and there was going to be a new highway built in response to this. By the way, this has all come to pass. So as I was pushing around John –all the down town store owners were seeing a reduction in the size of their businesses –and they were very fearful of the future. (Today there are many new empty storefronts.) They thought the rather regular disturbances from the undesirables were affecting their businesses –so they passed a new noise, among other ordinances. It signaled a new police response in the area.

What can clearly be said is the low income housing immediate and long term management was in complete disarray –with those living on the margins being seen a creating more trouble –and with enormous new threat to the old businesses and real-estate of the inner town. We got a severe Rudy Giuliani response to this in the name of a business threat. Did I tell they had no room in the jails –and the jails were severely under funded and mismanaged? Did I tell you the social services were also under funded –were absolutely immorally politicized, fractured, mismanaged, and useless. What can clearly be said is the social services became a jobs program for the locally politically incestuously connected.

So John became to painful to watch as he was wheeling around town –he wet his pants often because of the drugs he was taking, and at times he smelled terrible. A rude and indecent comment was made at a restaurant from a drunken customer. John was running out of places to eat –they kept kicking him out because of him creating a disturbance. Well, I think the community became fed up with him –so the comments were coming more frequent. So we told him if he gets mad –go outside and start screaming. Well, he was outside this day loudly mulling over this rude comment –where the police got a report of this. Matter of fact he was only ½ block away from the police station. The cops quietly walked up to him, tackled him in his wheel chair and breaking the large pane front window of the restaurant with John’s shoes.

The chief of police gave me this rationalization for quickly talking John out on this day and putting hand cuffs on him. John could be sitting under a pistol –with the aim of killing the police. I quickly got thrown out of his office with the assist of many other officers – I became irrational. I said,” I have to feed the guy, I have to wipe his ass –he can’t put his finger around a pistil –he doesn’t have the muscle control to keep the gun steady –he couldn’t even shoot himself…..that’s the problems you see here you f….. Idiots.”

This began a series of arrest for John. I visited him at the jail. I talked to the warden –he said john is very lucid, talkative, and friendly to all the jailers and inmates. The warden told me his jail was violating John’s human rights –the jail was built at the turn of the century –and it was not at all adequately for John’s disability. He surprisingly told me over 25% percent of the inmates could be considered to have mental problem. The warden told me he was setting up a meeting with a judge about this-john was shortly released. They are in the process of building a new jail as we speak.

So effectively the community found it too painful to put up with John. So these repeated jailing interacted with his on going depression. Wouldn’t you be depressed if you couldn’t find a girlfriend? John is now in the state hospital.

You understand what I am getting at –you see how these subtle outside interactions set him up for death in a mental institution: the indifference of the community, and the social service, and the dead agencies who could have interacted with his disabilities. John is on social security disability. You see how the long term disjointed low income housing policies set the death of john – how the economic death of the inner town and it’s hollow rebirth had a hand in it; how the politics of making money in real estate; of the politics of altruism with overhauling dead and dying inner town buildings with local, state and federal monies for the low income; and of making enormous monies with mindlessly putting together dead buildings and the disabled in the inner town. Believe me the primary determinant of the policy and rationale was about maximizing profits and political power –you have no idea of the power with the real-estate people, the politicians and the investing elites. It is immorality of the highest order –and the liberal were up to there necks with it...

Come on, the whole community and all of our governmental agencies have committed mercy euthanasia in our hearts with john. He was suffering too much for everyone –he made us suffer by watching him wheel around in his broken body…dirty... smelling…shit loaded pants …his broken mind and heart… You wanted to mercy kill him no doubt, so he wouldn’t disturb your beautiful dying green garden plotted business sidewalks -- the tree lined artificial chemically fertilized and watered Central Square -right across from that beautiful old NH white church.

To put him deep inside a mental institution; to put him silently in a corner of a room where no could hear of his rages; we could give him comfort with a “I’m crazy for you teddy bear” in a straight jacket; we could smother him in the mother’s love of a snugglely papoose board – and then to silence him once and for all with a tormented death. You know what we were hiding from –it was too painful to imagine putting yourself in that wheel chair. We are so frightened by that –and we should be…. It’s a living decades worth of tormented death no doubt… Kill him …Kill him…Kill him …stop his pain…he hurting us too much…It’s better we kill him, oh he wanted that himself, we could all see that…than look at ourselves in the mirror. You see that it is better not for us to face moral death –than look at our collective indifference to the plight of the disabled –to understand our horribly dysfunctional interaction with John through his lifetime. It is better that John faces his death …that we all not face our moral death by looking in the mirror. Another worthless death for our collective good it becomes.

You know what I got out of it –I couldn’t behaved any better than John –I couldn’t control my life any better than him if I was put in that chair within the current system. It’s was a normal human reaction…………………………………………………………………….


You see, we wanted to control his normal response to a dyfuctional and immoral system.


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