Lynx,

I still think you are a genius –you are struggling to use your intellect to put me down. If your were the real thing, you’d find a way to raise me up no matter what my sins and defects are. You would know that my sins are the greatest tools of the universe in helping me make my move towards enlightenment –and my faults and failures have the power to interact with the world around me. I am telling you it’s a perfect system –and you can’t go the wrong way. Take a look at the early apostles –some of these people weren’t nice men.

So you put your money in the pot –why and what’s your angle. Of all the people in the world why do you pay so much attention to me?

Of course Jesus Christ was the biggest bum on the planet in his days. He stole fruit from other people’s hard work and from their farms. Most of the world hated him.

Of course when you are a bum, when you have disconnected yourself from many aspects of the world, your pride, peoples opinion of you, of not adequate pay and benefits…Well, you are then sitting on the edge of tremendous creativity without any attachments. Here is my prayer to the universe.

Old dear god of the universe make my life a stinking rotten smelly sore. I am taunting you –you don’t have the courage or the strength to do it. I dare you too take everything away from me –make me starve, take my family away from me –make me sleep to the streets, let me watch terrible suffering of the innocent people around me –take away all of my dignity, my hopes and dreams –have everyone spit on me, urinate, throw feces on me, beat me, cut and mutilate me…

I then will be in the environment that where I feel most comfortable with. In those moments, you know you will see the tinkle in my eye. I will never give up–you know that I will have the most power and be at my creative best. Come on god, have faith in me as I have faith in you. You know I will figure out a way to drag the whole world into these problems --and by that they will see you. What are you afraid of? Come on they will see divine aspects in me of you. You know it’s in all of us to mirror your divine aspects here on this planet.

Oh dear god make my life a miserable stinking rotten mess… I’ll show them you…