"Look up drama triangle in google"
I got this from a man a lot smarter that I am. By the way, my mother and father were both alcoholics -and they both died an early death. All of my parents children (3) including me are alcoholics -and I have a severe case of the disease. I had to stop drinking before my 28 birthday or die. All of us have had to stop drinking(now for decade(s)) -well, trouble helped us confront our problems.
You see problems and troubles (of course most of the normal people don't need to create trouble in order to progress) is the scacred doorway through which you can pass and build a new life. Serious problems are such a grand opportunity.
So I see a man who creates so many troubles for himself and his community -such that the world has given up on him. I can see this man giving the greatest recovery speech that the world has ever seen... maybe tomorrow, next week ...or next year...but it is there behind his current tragity.
The older I get -the less faith I have in the typical"reality" that the world has tought me. It's just the superficial outer layer.
mike
Dysfunctional Pyramids of Power: Those Who Create and Sustain Them or A Big Dose of Your Own "Medicine"
by Patricia Lefave, D.D.(P), B.R.P., "The Mystical Madwoman"
Most of us are familiar with the Drama Triangle: Persecutor (or Aggressor), Victim, Rescuer and the tendency of human beings to rotate through those roles, in an attempt to "fix" life, for both ourselves and others. In the ideal triangle, the Rescuer is at the top of the pyramid as an archetype. That one represents the Savior or Messiah.
In dysfunctional pyramids, the Drama Triangle has shifted slightly. The Rescuer has been replaced by an Aggressor, who masquerades as the Rescuer, and the base line of the pyramid is thick with Victims, unaware of the Aggressor's hidden agenda. Should anyone become aware, of the pseudo Rescuer's hidden agenda, he, or she, will soon see that beneath the mask, lies the Destroyer of anyone who gets in his way.
The Aggressor's "game" plan is to remain at the top of the pyramid of power, by manipulating and controlling everyone beneath him. How much damage will be done to everyone else, from the top down, will depend only upon how far that particular Aggressor is willing to go, to reach, and maintain his goal. Then it becomes how much those who are beneath him, are willing to accept, before they see the truth about the Leader, and attempt to stop his "game", or escape his control.
Often, the most successful dysfunctional pyramids of power, are run by the most "charismatic" of sociopaths. These are the people who really understand the "game", and playing the game, becomes their only reason for living. It has become their addiction. Their "fix". Seeing themselves as the "winners" of the game, has become their only real identity. Everything else in their life is done, or not done, for the purpose of keeping the game intact, and themselves in position, at the top of the pyramid.
The sociopaths who get really "good" at this, are the ones who become the "Adolph Hitlers", because like all addictions, the need for an ever bigger "fix" to make oneself feel better, feeds on itself.
The manipulated group which forms the base line of the pyramid, supports and enables the Rescuer/Aggressor's power. They are sucked into the scheme, long before anyone, ever, becomes aware it has happened, or even how it happened.
The first social situation in which the sociopath learns interrelationship, as a member of a group, is in the family. Of course, it's not the only social situation. But, we all take whatever we learn in our families, out into the external world with us; into schools, workplaces, and all other social situations. There, we repeat them, usually unconsciously, as "normal" patterns of behavior. "Normal" meaning; to what we have become accustomed, and so re-enact, robot like, without any thought given as to why we do it.
Dysfunctional families are the scaled down version, of the group dynamics, which support pyramids of power. This, the place where the "game" is most often first taught, and then, passed along, generation after generation. Any member of the group, who sees the pattern of the game itself, and; protests it, tries to create a group awareness of it, or tries to change it, becomes the natural enemy of the one who runs it. The leader then deals with that challenge to his power and authority, by attempting to, and often succeeding at, turning the group against the dissident member.
Often, this is accomplished by using a Bait and Switch con. The leader sets up his "enemy", by pretending to be his/her friend. He then sets up the group, by presenting the dissident as the Aggressor. The Aggressor continues to masquerade as the Rescuer, and manipulates the group to accept his version of the Victim, as stupid, sick, or crazy. The Aggressor/Rescuer communicates ambiguously, so that no one will obtain a clear picture of what is actually occurring. The opposing versions of reality, create so much chaos and confusion, through misdirection, that the truth about what is really happening, can rarely be pinpointed. The Aggressor is always careful to keep witnesses away from his private conversations with all the participants.
This group interaction actually equates to Chaos Theory. When the starting point is not really known, the results appear to be random and unconnected. But, when the starting point is known, the results are completely predictable. The Aggressor employs the "switch" because it is unlikely, once the game gets going, that either the Victim, or the Group, will ever be able to see through the chaos. He can hide successfully in the confusion. If his true agenda remains hidden, the threat to the loss of his position, or power, is greatly reduced.
The Aggressor's goal is never that of resolution, though he will deceive the group to believe that it is, if it seems politically expedient to do so. The Aggressor's goal is to make certain that resolution does not come, for if it did, it would mean the truth about him would be revealed. If it was revealed, he would lose his position at the top of the pyramid, and the power to control everyone else.
This is the "game" of Domination and Submission. It is the abstract paradigm of all dysfunctional leaders who have a hidden agenda of obtaining absolute power and control over others.
The Drama Triangle of this dysfunctional game is actually: Aggressor, Victim, and Manipulated Group. There is no Rescuer in this perverted drama.
This game varies only in the degree of it's insanity and the concrete details which reflect the structure. The details (the players, the roles, the sets, the costumes) may change slightly, but the play remains the same. Sense, or reason, has nothing to do with it. This play, is anti-logical to perfection.
We can't reason with the leader since he will simply invalidate everything we say, do, or feel, in order to validate himself, his position, and his power. We usually can' t get the leader to just leave us alone, or "allow" "inferior" us, to disagree either. If we threaten his power, even by suggestion, we get stopped every time, for as long as he manages to hold onto the power to stop us.
The goal of the one at the top of a dysfunctional pyramid of power, is to maintain that power and his position, by keeping the system closed. That means, he must see to it that nothing inside it, gets out, and nothing outside it, gets in. "Reason" has nothing to do with it. Dysfunctional pyramids are structures of power, built without reason. The only way anyone can "win" in this insane "game" is to stop playing it, and expose the madness of the game, itself, to the light of day. To do that, you must first get outside of it, so that you can see it clearly. Once it is seen for what it really is, the mystification comes to an end, the agenda no longer hidden. No one gets sucked into a con game, if the end result is perfectly obvious from the start.
The sociopath thinks in adversarial terms. He sees life itself, as a "contest" against others, which he must "win". In religious terms, the name "Satan" means adversary. If I were to discuss this in purely religious terms, I would still mean the same thing. There is a saying about Satan, a.k.a The Devil (which you may notice is "lived" backwards) It is: Satan's arrogance blinds him to the truth about himself. Arrogant individuals maintain their position, in spite of any and all evidence that it is wrong, by projecting their own errors onto their victims. The victims' lives are "sacrificed", one way or another, to appease the petty gods of dysfunction and to maintain the perverted system.
These are the group dynamics of scapegoating. This system is supported by a blindly led majority, which enables the leader, simply because we all want to feel we "belong"; that we are part of something bigger than ourselves. I believe it appeals to the innate desire of human beings to be "One" again, to feel safe and warm within the "womb" of Creation, and to follow a Rescuer who will lead us all safely "Home". Unfortunately, when our Savior turns out to be our Destroyer in disguise, we often blindly follow him anyway, all the way to the edge of the Abyss, before we start to notice that something isn't right.
The Destroyer who masquerades as the Rescuer always has a primary rule which must be followed if you want to belong to his group. The rule is: You are not allowed to perceive any fault in the leader, or his system. If you do, you threaten his power and control, and become the enemy. If you become his enemy, he will enlist the support of the group to force you out. Then you will face the terrors of isolation, for committing the sin of awareness.
Paradoxically, the only way to see the truth about the distorted system, is to see it from the outside. So, being forced out, may be just what you need the most. At that moment, we start to regain our sanity. That is the moment we reach the nexus. Our collective "center". That is also the moment the group often believes we have "gone insane", because we see something the group does not see. It is during this period of our transformation that we "nuts" tend to laugh and giggle uncontrollably. At the complete absurdity of it all. A Cosmic Joke. If psychiatry is really interested in healing, rather than suppressing the truth nobody likes, and controlling misunderstood emotional reactions, it needs to get out of the instant judgment business, and start listening. Learn to see and hear , what has been right in front of you all along, "hidden" in plain sight.
As I said to psychiatry in 1995 ,about my own relationship with an Aggressor, masquerading as a Rescuer, "He couldn't have done it without manipulating the group to help him."
Allow a new idea to enter you own collective mind. For what is "hidden" to you, isn't necessarily "hidden" to "us". It is actually possible that "we" "defectives" understand something, that you "experts" do not. As hard as that may be for you to imagine.
It is said, the original error occurred back in the Garden, when that Old Serpent, that Snake in the Grass, pulled off the first Bait and Switch routine. He switched positions with God, in order to create doubt in the minds of the original parents, Adam and Eve. And Adam and Eve "fell" for it. We've paid for that error (which means sin) ever since, even passing it along, generation after generation, like the family heirloom. All because no fault must ever be found in the preceding generation, (or "authority" figures who represent them), even if the failure to find that fault costs us all, Life itself.
It's time we all faced the reality of that error, as the faulty premise of our reasoning. Still, who am I, to have the unmitigated gall, to dare to disagree with authority. They are right, I think. It's time I "let it go", stopped this "whining" and did something different to "get on with my life".
In MY ultimate "reality", I find myself in full agreement with psychiatry's diagnosis of me. For I am indeed, resisting, denying, non compliant, and NOW, I'm even "seeking fame". Would you say we've come "full circ
Suppose you took a man of immense ability,
ReplyDeleteand wounded him socially, so that he had no accepted role.
(If a growing persona misses any one of a dozen mileposts
of normal socialization, it cannot thereafter occur).
Being ignorant of the balanced state of inner society-
the drama where the properly socialized many live out their lives,
the unsocialized latecomer is relegated to substitute dreams,
and must act in a totally different play.
He will feel deprivation. He will crave revenge. He will suffer jealousy.
He will misread the trivialities of the many. He will obsess on their lives.
Unless he can accept outcast status as his norm, and end denial,
he will forever dwell in the no man's land between what "they" have,
and what he perceives himself to lack.
It is all wasted energy. No good comes of it.
The analyses of the great outcasts, Marx, Lenin, Hitler,
Buddha, Muhammed, are all, each and every one,
poisoned by an inner inhumanity.
An inherent inhumanity which reduces their
stupendous efforts of generating a bug's view
of humankind into a nutty agenda for
making all humans into bugs under their
deprived, angry , and skewed tutlelage.
They are all wrong, and need not concern us,
except to prove my point
that geniuses far brighter than you & I
have stumbled on this problem,
and failed.
Suppose you were in a small ghetto neighborhood,
and a gang from several blocks away came to your street,
harrassing your neighbors.
Let us imagine that you wish to help, but are afraid to do so.
Let us now imagine that a local sociopath, from your block,
stormed out of his house and confronted them,
saving the neighborhood from fear & pain.
You and your neighbors would have found a good use
for the local bully.
Yes, leaders are not normal people.
But they have their place.
Yes, people who gravitate to law & politics
have chosen to push others around
by virtue of the very job they have chosen.
So what?
Ants have queens, soldiers, workers & drones,
as do bees. Primates have silverback alphas,
non-breeding bachelors, and pack outcasts.
My 6 hunting dogs have an immutable pecking order.
I cannot change that, much as I sympathize with the low dog.
Life is lived in differences.
If you were enjoying a normally socialized existence,
your effort to understand humanity
would get invested in domestic life, and be a good thing.
As a victimsubstanceabuserneedfulspecialcase
you have chosen denial. Social denial.
Politicians are not evil.
They are part good, part blowhard, part liar, part braggart,
and part JesusChrist, and they WILL run our lives
forever, until some new evolutionary leap happens,
which I don't expect in my lifetime,
and don't care about anyway.
If you don't wish to return to godlike
divine kings & emperors, then the scummy politikoes
are all we have.I don't like to bow, kiss feet, or get beheaded,
so I count the overblown leader type as a minor annoyance.
My technique is to play these types like a Stradivarius violin,
using all their expected weaknesses as control opportunities for me,
where I can grab on to their braggadocio like a ship's tiller,
and steer the stupid boogers home to port. MY port.
No problemo, Mike!
Forget the exaggerated 13 stepping nonsense.
get a job you can hold on to,
don't rat anybody out, find a kind, understanding wife,
and let your kids make the world better.
That's about all anybody can do.
I know.
I used to be a genius myself.
I couldn't take it anymore,
so I gave it up.